by Tommy Gimler
Three consecutive AL Central and US homicide rate titles and counting, Detroit should have a little more breathing room this year. Well, at least in the Tigers clubhouse, as manager Jimmy Leyland and his Pall Mall’s have given way to Brad Ausmus. And while the Indians and Royals could make things interesting atop the division, we think Detroit still has enough bullets left in the chamber to shoot ‘em all down.
Offense
The 2013 Detroit Tigers led all of baseball in hits and batting average, and only the Red Sox had more runs, RBI, and a higher OPS. Sure, trading Prince Fielder’s fat ass to Texas will lead to a slight drop in power numbers, but it’s not like they traded him for a dick sandwich. Second baseman Ian Kinsler brings a new dynamic to a team that finished dead last in stolen bases last year, and word out of Tigers spring training is that he has lost 10-15 pounds and looking to run this year.
The heart of the order still provides a solid punch with Hunter, Cabrera, Martinez. Hunter will turn 39 this summer, so it’ll be interesting to see how long he can sustain his recent success. Keep an eye on Nick Castellanos at third base. He was a stud last year at Triple-A but laid a turd when it was time to play with the big boys in September. And watching Austin Jackson is the equivalent to dating a bipolar broad, as you never know what you’re going to get day in and day out…
Pitching
Detroit’s starting pitching is the shit, leading the American League in wins, strikeouts, innings pitched, and ERA a year ago. Justin Verlander is plowing Kate Upton again, so we expect big things out of him in 2014. Anibal Sanchez and Max Scherzer round out what is probably the best starting three in the American League, but after that, good fucking luck. At times, Rick Porcello pitches like the stud he was advertised as, and other times, he’s about as awesome as Rickie Weeks. Drew Smyly could be a nice surprise early, but it will be interesting to see how effective he is once the innings add up in the second half of the season.
Detroit’s bullpen a year ago was pure pig shit. Gone is Jose Valverde’s gunt. It still amazes us that people called him an athlete. Taking his place is a guy who actually knows how to get the job done. Joe Nathan might be 39 years old, but he has saved 80 games over the last two years and only gave up two home runs while pitching in a hitter’s park for the Rangers last year. Joba Chamberlain is on the Tigers now, so that’s neat…
Key Acquisition(s): Joe Nathan, Ian Kinsler
Key Departure(s): Prince Fielder, Jim Leyland’s second-hand smoke
Sexiness of Schedule: The Tigers have a tougher interleague schedule that features NL West opponents as well as the Pittsburgh Pirates, but Detroit gets 38 games against the White Sox and Twins, including 10 of their final 13 games. By then, it’ll be the equivalent to playing minor league ball clubs. If Kate Upton is a 10 and Precious is a 1, we’re giving the Tigers’ 2014 schedule a 6, or in other words, Nicole Kidman in 1998…
Why They Will Win: If you’re going to win the division, you have to beat up on the weak kids, even the ones with Downs like the Twins and White Sox. The Tigers owned the AL Central a year ago, going 47-29. They do it again, riding the arms of their starting pitching. Ian Kinsler steals 30-plus bases, and the trade with Texas is totally worth it when Prince Fielder chokes on a veggie burger and dies.…
Why They Won’t Win: Kinsler struggles in his new home, which wouldn’t be that big of a surprise given his numbers away from Texas the last three years. Joe Nathan’s arm falls off because he’s so goddamn old, and the bullpen is even worse that it was a year ago, when their 17-25 record and 4.01 ERA were almost as pathetic as the New York Knicks…
2013 season: 93-69 (1st, AL Central)
2014 Predictions
Vegas: 89.5 wins (1st, AL Central)
The DUD: 88-74 (1st, AL Central)
Clay Davenport (Baseball Prospectus): 91-71 (1st, AL Central)
FanGraphs.com: 88-74 (1st, AL Central)
Ben Berkon (Bleacher Report): 1st place, AL Central
Buster Olney (ESPN): 1st place, AL Central