DUD MLB Preview: Tampa Bay Rays
by Tommy Gimler We’re pretty sure more people visited the DUD in the last hour than set foot inside the Trop last year, and Google Analytics is showing six people read this shit last hour. And that’s...
View ArticleDoes Spring Training Success Matter?
by Tommy Gimler Spring training is almost as young as an R. Kelly piece of ass, but the new-look Seattle Mariners are off to an impressive 5-1 start. At the same time, the Atlanta Braves have been...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Baltimore Orioles
by Tommy Gimler The city of Baltimore apparently has an incurable strain of gonorrhea making the rounds. And while that probably has nothing to do with our look at the 2014 Baltimore Orioles, we think...
View ArticleAdam Feuerberg’s Somewhat Weekly Report On The 2014 Major League Baseball...
by Adam Feuerberg Soooooo…. Football season is over, the Winter Olympics gold medals have been handed out, college basketball is nearing its prized season-ending tournament, and the NBA and NHL...
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Matching Up MLB Players And True Detective Characters
by Tommy Gimler The first season of HBO’s True Detective came to an end tonight, and as expected, it was 55 minutes of shit-your-pants awesome. And it got our hungover asses thinking, if we had to use...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Boston Red Sox
by Tommy Gimler Could the defending World Series champs really go from worst to first to worst again? Maybe. Or maybe these afternoon brownies were laced with some really good shit. Offense In 2013,...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Cleveland Indians
by Tommy Gimler The Tribe won their final ten games last year, and they needed every single one of them to make their first trip to the postseason since 2007. A return trip in 2014 isn’t out of the...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Detroit Tigers
by Tommy Gimler Three consecutive AL Central and US homicide rate titles and counting, Detroit should have a little more breathing room this year. Well, at least in the Tigers clubhouse, as manager...
View ArticleAn Umpire Took A Line Drive To His Nards Yesterday
by Tommy Gimler Try telling umpire Brad Myers that spring training doesn’t mean anything, and he’ll probably rip your fucking nuts off. Now, on the surface that might seem like a slight overreaction,...
View ArticleAdam Feuerberg’s Somewhat Weekly Report On The 2014 MLB Season – Part 2
by Adam Feuerberg When we last talked baseball, I was busy ranting on new rules and instant replay that my World War II friends were going to be so pissed off about. Now onto something I really care...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Kansas City Royals
by Tommy Gimler Kansas City Royals fans should circle July 26th on their calendars, as that is the day Kansas City Chiefs’ training camp officially opens to the public. The Royals might finish in...
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DUD MLB Preview: 2014 NL East Projected Standings
by Tommy Gimler Everything is falling into place for the New York Mets to be major players…in 2021. 1. Washington Nationals The Nationals took a tits starting rotation and made it even more impressive...
View ArticleThe Worst Damn Team In Baseball Again: 2014 Houston Astros Preview
by Dave “The Voice of No Reason” Iacch The Houston Astros number one goal this year is to not lose 100 games for the fourth consecutive year. It will be tough since they play in the mighty AL West...
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DUD MLB Preview: NL Central Projected Standings
by Tommy Gimler Quick. Without looking, name the three starting outfielders for the 2014 Chicago Cubs. Yeah, it’s that bad on the North Side. 1. St. Louis Cardinals The best team in the NL Central a...
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DUD MLB Preview: NL West Projected Standings
by Frank Rhombus The Dodgers are 1-to-3 favorites to win the NL West this year, so there’s as much value in making that bet as there is in trying to have an emotional relationship with Lindsay Lohan....
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DUD MLB Preview: AL West Projected Standings
by Tommy Gimler The Angels have really dicked us the last two years, but not as much as the injury bug has dicked the rest of the AL West this year. There isn’t enough coke in the world to bring Ron...
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2014 MLB Opening Day: Bold Predictions And Great Expectations
by Tommy Gimler Peanuts and Cracker Jacks? Fuck that. We’re talking bold predictions and great expectations. Here’s what the DUD is hoping to see in 2014, as the real Opening Day is just hours away,...
View ArticleOpening Day Really Should Be A Holiday
by Adam Feuerberg I don’t think we get enough holidays in this country or enough days off from work for that matter. Of course, who am I to complain? I live in the greatest place on the planet, while...
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The Best Team in Baseball Is…Wait, The Brewers?
by Frank Rhombus If you would have told me two weeks ago that the Brewers would be the owners of baseball’s best record at 9-2 on April 12th after winning eight games in a row, I would have said...
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Unacceptable Jerseys For True Baseball Fans
by Tommy Gimler I actually paid for tickets to a Brewers-Pirates game last week, and I almost puked while tailgating with my old man in the Gorman Thomas section of the parking lot. Only this time it...
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