Another ESPN Creation Fizzles
by Tommy Gimler Think back to night of December 10, 2011. How shocked were you when ESPN opened SportsCenter with the impossible: Ryan Braun has tested positive for a PED? Two “sources” had leaked to...
View ArticleDeuces Wild
by Tommy Gimler What has the Royals mascot so excited? It sure as hell isn’t Ned Yost back at the helm for another year. Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports announced today the addition of one more wild card...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Baltimore Orioles
by Tommy Gimler The last few seasons have shown us that good pitching will defeat good hitting most of the time. Unfortunately, the Baltimore Orioles have no pitching. The Birds imported two pitching...
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Book It!
by Barry Murphy Here are my 5 favorite MLB over/unders for 2012 (and 2 that I wish I didn’t put in): Arizona D’Backs over 86.5 – Why? Gibby’s a winner. Even better rotation then last year with the...
View ArticleHey. So, Jim Joyce Saved A Life Last Week
by Tommy Gimler On June 2, 2010, one of the most respected umpires in Major League Baseball ruined a perfect game by making a safe call on what should have been the 27th out for Detroit’s Armando...
View ArticleWhy Cincinnati, Oakland, and Baltimore Fans Don’t Deserve A Title
by Tommy Gimler During Game 4 of the Tigers-Athletics ALDS Series Wednesday night, TBS/TNT announcer Buck Martinez mentioned how amazing the Oakland Athletics fans were at supporting their team. Bull...
View Article2013 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out
by Tommy Gimler The Atlantis Casino in Reno might be as irrelevant as Mindy McCready’s life 364 days of the year, but for the last seven years, they have been the first sportsbook to release Major...
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Get The Shit Out Of Your Ears: Our First DUDcast
by Tommy Gimler and Michael Louis What do you get when you lock five sports fans and a comedian in a condo loaded with two bottles of Glenfiddich, eighteen Bud Lights, and a high-speed internet...
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How To Get Baseball Players To Stop Using PEDs
by Tommy Gimler If there is anything for certain that we can take away from ESPN’s latest “PEDs in baseball” story relying solely on unnamed sources instead of known facts, it’s that Biogenesis...
View ArticleThe American League Wins Leader Is Bartolo Colon And That’s Pretty Fucking Sad
by Tommy Gimler In case you’re not paying attention to the Oakland Athletics, and because they’re the Oakland Athletics we’re assuming you aren’t, the American League leader in wins is Bartolo Colon,...
View ArticleThe DUD MLB Midseason Report: American League
by Tommy Gimler If you had Baltimore’s Chris Davis hitting 30 home runs through 82 games, you’re a fucking liar. Likewise, nobody pegged his teammate Manny Machado to be on pace to break the Major...
View ArticleFantasy Dork Alert: These Turds Are Keeping You From Winning The Whole...
by Tommy Gimler With only six weeks remaining in the regular season in most head-to-head fantasy baseball leagues, dorks everywhere are scrambling to assemble the perfect team for a late season push...
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Just Like David Freese, These Guys Were Worthless Turds Until The Postseason...
by Tommy Gimler For the sixth time since 2004, the St. Louis Cardinals are heading to the NLCS, due in large part to Adam Wainwright being the anti-Tony Romo and hurling a gutsy nine-inning gem last...
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Five Bold Predictions For The 2013 World Series
by Tommy Gimler It’s being billed as “The Birds vs. The Beards” by many sportswriters across the country. It’s being billed as “Something I Won’t Watch” by my wife. In any case, here are five things...
View ArticleOld Stoner James Taylor Botches National Anthem
by Tommy Gimler Let’s face it. Folk singer James Taylor is almost as old as our national anthem, so we’ll go ahead and cut him some slack on this one. But when Taylor fucked up The Star-Spangled...
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The DUD Hands Out Their MLB Hardware
by Tommy Gimler We’ll let Tim Kurkjian calculate who is this year’s National League MVP from his grandma’s basement. But if you’re looking for awards like “Player Who Took Down The Hottest Piece Of...
View ArticleWho In The Hell Is This Masahiro Tanaka Guy?
by Tommy Gimler We’re less than a week away from the start of a new year, and in Major League Baseball, that can mean only one thing. Yup, it’s time to bid on some Japs. The guy everybody and their...
View ArticleDerek Jeter, Yankees And Genital Herpes Captain, Will Retire After The 2014...
by Tommy Gimler Sad news out of the baseball world today, as Derek Jeter, our favorite player and arguably the face of baseball and genital herpes rumors for the last nineteen years, announced via...
View Article2014 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out, You Hookers
by Tommy Gimler The thugs in Vegas have released the 2014 over/under win totals for all 30 Major League Baseball teams, and let’s just say there are a few more surprises than getting into a car with...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Toronto Blue Jays
by Tommy Gimler To say the 2013 Toronto Blue Jays were a disappointment is a bigger understatement than saying Melissa McCarthy is pudgy. But the injury bug hit the Blue Jays harder than a Green Bay...
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